ROAD TRIP

Take a gander at some road trip themed buttons.

I will admit that I am missing the beef jerky button.  For some reason, getting in a car really makes me want to eat foods processed the same way my shoes were.  Although I can’t dig on the cow, so turkey jerky it is, which should really be more of a hit than it is because, hey, turkey totes rhymes with jerky.  And it always will.

Due to recent developments that involve my vehicle no longer going in reverse, I haven’t seen a lot of road trip action lately.  Reverse is actually pretty important.  I don’t think I’ve ever put my truck into 1 or 2, and I’m pretty sure there is a third one I use so rarely I can’t even remember what it is, but R… man, that’s handy.  So, as the winter continues to come in like a lion and then return with a lamb in its mouth, I will stay relatively neighborhood-ridden.  Time to uncover more of what the city has to offer by foot.

 

 

 

Segment from a Zine

One thing I really like doing when drawing pictures of food talking to each other is to add the little Charlie Brown lines like parenthesis on either side of the eyeballs, to indicate that the one banana is moderately surprised that another banana is talking to him.

Pro tips.  Only here on the camuscanoe blog.

Let Me Get My Reading Glasses

Do you ever visit those online craft sites and just think to yourself, man, what can I possibly be doing with my life that is of any meaning.

It hits me sometimes.  About ten seconds before my punk rock side chimes in and reminds me that people who think they are doing something real are the worst people on earth.  People who think they are doing something real always have an excuse to infringe upon the personhood of others, who have been determined to not be doing something real, and this is the root of most human inter-species violence and a lot of really stupid marches with misspelled signs.

But if I were personally doing something real, I would hope that it would be something like this.

Zombies and Senior Octopus

Today the week of iPod wallpapers continues.  Does anyone still use their iPod?  I actually do.  All the time.  My phone is not smart.

More iPod wallpapers

A Yellow Bird and a Purple Bird Walk Into a Bar

The more likely scenario is that a yellow bird and a purple bird would fly into a window, because for whatever sad reason this is what birds do.

You know who needs to update their website?  Not me, because I’ve been pretty loyal to this blog.  No, it’s Clearly Canadian.  Are they still a product?  Should I cancel my roadtrip to British Columbia?  Not gonna be able to find out from the internet.

If they could have just worked their way in with the ICP crowd all would be okay.

Today is a continuation of the iPod wallpapers derived from mostly previous works.  See below, click on whatever you like.

A Week of iPod Touch Wallpapers

I just realized that I have been rocking the exact same iPod Wallpaper since before this time last year.  I suspect many people are in a similar position.  And in google-ing for a good twenty minutes, I have yet to find something that suits me, or doesn’t look like the download is accompanied by flaming computer scabies.  This fun with scrolls shit has got to stop.  As does any sampling of that damn Japanese wave print.  And honestly I would rather a friend or colleague see my browser open to some sort of furry fetish site than catch me with some Ed Hardy knock off wallpaper.

Mortifying.

I also don’t fully understand why there is no real representation of wallpapers that were created organically.  I realize that photoshop and illustrator are the obvious portals for wallpaper art, but how hard is it to scan some shit in?

Also of importance to this process, having worked as a framer, most of my artwork is in standard ratio size anyways, and easy enough to port to the medium.  If you are a visual artist and are not already doing this, seriously.  Pull your head out of your ass and print some 8x10s or whatevs.  Framing is expensive.  The ultimate “fuck you” to your clients is selling them a 9×16.2 print for $20, which they will then have to spend $80 to frame so they even get to enjoy it on the walls in their house.  Have some sense.

So, anyways, here we go with the first round.

And Beyond… But Seriously, Wear a Respirator

One of my favorite subjects is space.  First of all, you can mod podge anything on a black spacey background and it will really pop.  Also, you can totally use up all your glitter.  My obsession with space caught the tail end of my obsession with spraypaint.  I had been watching a lot of videos like this one:

A couple of things about this video, first, it is a great example of how quickly you can make these spacescapes.  Second, wear a respirator and gloves when working with spraypaint, that shit is totes toxic.  Notice how you can quickly make the planets by putting down any round lid and then just spraypainting black everywhere.  Also, another tip for this technique is to turn the can sideways and depress it slowly, so that you can get a good a splatter for stars and space debris.  Next, wait for your art to dry and mod podge some zombies over it.

I foolishly used a cardstock with a texture, this technique is so much better on smooth paper.

Also, mod podge a canary over it.

Or put a bird on it, if you will.

For more details on the look of the planet, the classic crab and cupcake in space respectively:

A Dollar Saved

For the most part, male family members serve as water-logged jungle gyms to children on vacation at the beach.  Meaning that if you are an uncle over the age of twenty and under the age of eighty, children are going to nag you to let them stand on your shoulders, harass you to let them bury you up to whatever part of your body would be itchiest in sand and, in general, make a day at the beach as non-relaxing as possible.  The female relatives are allowed to sit on the shore, and tan, and read, and the general division of child-rearing labor is turned on its head.

Maybe I took a little longer than my peers in realizing what a sacrifice was made by the guys in my family who undoubtedly sustained at least some permanent spine injuries as a result of the abuse of tiny feet.  In particular, I was thinking about the way my uncle would stand up to his neck in the water, somewhere just past the sandbar, and dig around with his toes to find sand dollars.  This behavior has a whole other set of dangers associated with it that cannot be handled by a competent chiropractor, and also the ocean floor is usually pretty icky.  So today I am not only thinking about my uncle, but also the tiny hairs on a small, fragile disk on the ocean floor, burrowing beneath the sand, only to be brought to shore in a bucket and left on a rental patio to dry out and be left behind as everyone scrambles to pack the car at the end of the week.

And so the next time you see a cute little kid just remind yourself of a few things;  they are here to replace you, and they will break you and everything else that gets in their way.

Like adults only shorter and slightly more likely to still remember obscure state history facts.

 

Another Stupid Face

This art card is different for me stylistically.  I set out to just make something different from what I usually make.

Art card in acrylic and watercolor pencil

CUPCAKE!

WATERCOLOR PENCIL FOREVER!  CUPCAKES FOREVER!